1. Apply for your child's social security card. Look in the blue pages of the phone book for the nearest SS office. They have the form and list of documents you will need. After your child receives proof of citizenship (you can apply and receive a US passport, which will serve as proof), return to the social security office to change the status to "citizen". This is NOT done automatically.
2. Make sure that you have properly added your child to your health insurance policy.
3. Contact an attorney about the "recognition of adoption" process (formerly known as readoption) or you can file the papers yourself. After readopting, you will get a LA birth certificate (but you must apply and send your check first). You can also ask your social worker to explain this important process.
4. Call your agency and find out the procedure for completing post-placement reports. Most agencies will automatically send this info to you.
5. Schedule an appointment with your child's pediatrician to discuss the tests you may want to have completed, immunizations, and developmental issues. You may want to ask for an "extended" appointment because you will have a lot to cover.
6. Apply for your child US passport. For tips from other adoptive families and a list of what you will need, click here.
7. Contact your local early intervention team. They will come to your home and evaluate your child. This will give you better insight into any delays (speech, fine/gross motor, etc.) your child may have. Your child may qualify for early intervention services such as speech, OT or PT. This is a topic that has varying opinions and approaches. Some doctors may tell you to take the "wait and see" approach. There is much literature out there, but most doctors that specialize in internationally adopted children will advise you to be aggressive and not use the "wait and see" approach. A child that has spent any amount of time in an orphanage will have delays. Some of these delays may not even be obvious to you. Early intervention avoids future problems. The earlier, the better. The first few years of life are essential to a child's development. There is never harm in an evaluation (It doesn't cost anything if you use Early Steps or Child Net). It can give you great insight into your child's strengths and weaknesses. Even if your child does not qualify, you will learn what areas need to be worked on and this will help you as you "play" with your child. A parent is a child's best advocate and not all medical professionals will have an understanding of the issues our children may face. You may have to help educate them by giving them the resources they will need to help your child.
8. Discuss with your extended family attachment issues, should the need arise. Your family needs to understand the importance of that intial attachment period with mommy and daddy. Do not let others shower you child with affection and gifts in those first few weeks. Your child needs to learn that they now have one or two parents that are special and diffferent from all other adults in his/her world. Also, discuss the need to not overstimulate your child. There should be a gradual introduction into socialization. Resources about this topic are listed at the bottom of the "considering adoption" page.
9. Check out the online courses offered by www.adoptionlearningpartners.org. They offer a variety of excellent, easy-to-complete, adoption courses for post-adoptive parents. Some examples are, "Let's Talk Adoption", The Journey of Attachment" Most courses are free.
For more information on parenting a baby who's been through a transition:
Some helpful books:
Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah Gray
Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best
Real Parents, Real Children by Holly van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels
Resources:
Some topics include: How to be an advocate for your child, writing an IEP, educational issues, and much more.
2. Parents Network for the Post Institutionalized Child - www.pnpic.org
